Friday, February 17, 2012

Long overdue update..and too sick to make a cute title.

It's been like 3 and a half weeks since I've written because I am super bad at going to school and doing life at the same time. I love my classes, but it is so exhausting to get up every day, go to class, sit there, and listen. You would think it wouldn't take that much energy, but it does. Then I have homework and stuff so school is doing a pretty great job at exhausting me. I am doing okay in my classes, but not as good as I should be. I think the most frustrating thing is the fibro fog.

Fibro fog is a part of the fibromyalgia that basically means that I have a lack of mental clarity that can range anywhere from forgetting where I put my keys to knowing every answer for a test but then walking in and forgetting everything...which you know realize why this is frustrating. I oftentimes forget what a word is when i'm talking and have done this for years, but now know why. But when your teachers think you are the smartest person in the class and when you are in class in a non stressful situation and know all the answers then walk into the test and the fibro fog takes over it's just not freaking fair. I mean i haven't made lower than a B on anything yet. But when there are only 8 people admitted into a program that you are told about 30 people apply to you really wanna get that A. However, all my professors that are in charge of admission to the program know what is going on and understand and have taken my disabilities into consideration for the most part and still seem to like me ok. But fibro fog pisses me off. I also get worse fibro fog when I hurt worse and i hurt worse when I stay up late to study and I study more because I know I forget more than other it is like a vicious cycle of pain and fibro fog over and over again. Anyways...

Other than that school is going great. I am making good friends that are really cool. I am learning a ton of really interesting stuff. I am feeling like a scientist in my labs doing gram stains, and streak plates, and separating enzymes from oranges that can cure cancer, taking the sugar out of sodas, and the fats out of potato chips, pretty cool stuff, right? I have also finished my dietetics application and applied to grad school so now I'm just waiting and waiting.

Small group is wonderful!!! It is so nice to have a group of women that love the Lord and help support each other through everything. I haven't been able to see them in almost 2 weeks though because I am super sick right now so I miss them very much. We were going to get together last Friday, but I was starting to get sick then, and then this Wednesday for group I was super sick by then. Now I am in bed on Friday in the middle of the day because I have finally succumbed to the sickness and am taking a 3 day weekend because midterms are next week so I need to be better by then for sure.

So now that I've mentioned I'm sick I guess I need to do the every so important health update since that is what this blog is supposed to be about anyways. Well, last time I wrote I had mentioned that they thought I had lupus. I don't. Praise the Lord! At least, what the doctor said is, you don't have it yet, not sure what that means, if they are going to do more tests or what...but for right now I don't have it. He did tell me that my potassium was down to 3.0 again (which if you remember from my very first blog is right around where it was when they told me I could die and wouldn't let me leave the hospital) That pretty much terrified me and put me in a very bad mood because I was scared. They put me on potassium supplements and said if it didn't go up in a week they were going to send me to a kidney doctor because it could be something wrong with my kidneys. Well it went up with supplements so right now I am just on a high potassium diet so hopefully it will work this time. Then they said my vitamin D levels were low so I am taking a TON of vitamin D every week and more every hopefully that will help some too. I guess the celiac is making me not absorb like any nutrients properly. But I must be absorbing something because I now weigh 149 pounds which is unheard of. I can't believe I weigh that much. I have been trying to get up to like 120 my whole life now I am almost 150 pounds. Crazy! I couldn't do my remicade this week because I have a cold/bronchitis/sinus thing...and you can't get remicade if you are sick because it suppresses your immune system so you get sicker if you do it. The kicker is I'm already on immunosuppressive drugs in pill form that I take every day in pill form so I really don't think I'm going to get better any faster than if I had the remicade or not because my immune system is already suppressed. But anyways...I am supposed to get it next thursday now so hopefully I will be better by then or else I have to reschedule again. But other than that, nothing else is really going on. That is pretty much an update.

I miss salisbury super bad, I also have started missing charleston super bad. I don't think it's because I'm cold because it hasn't really been cold here this winter. We did get 2 inches of snow on Valentines day, but it still wasn't that cold, in my opinion. And we still had school, which would not happen in Salisbury or in Charleston. So I think I just miss the people and the food...or how my life was in those places. Mostly I just miss being able to do stuff that everyone else can do...I think the more I get invited to stuff and the more I have to say no because I can't do it, the more I miss being on my own and being not sick...but it's ok...I guess.