Friday, June 20, 2014

What We've Got Here is a Failure to Communicate

Communication. We all do it. Everybody in the entire world communicates. From the day we are born to the day we die we communicate.

Everybody communicates in a little bit of a different way and we sometimes don't understand each other at all because of the fact that we may not even be speaking the same language. In fact according to the Ethnologue, which is considered to be the world's most extensive catalog of the world's language reports that as of 2009 there were 6,909 distinct language in the world! 

On top of there being so many different languages that may cause a mis-communication problem. There are also a whole bunch of different types of communication also.

  • There is verbal communication which includes sounds, words, language, and speech.
  • There is also non-verbal communication which convey's the sender's message without having to use words; it involves the use of physical ways of communication such as tone of voice, touch, and expressions, symbols, and sign language.
  • There is also written communication which helps convey the message of the sender with the help of written words. Letters, personal journals, emails, reports, articles, and memos. This form of communication also features visual communication as well, especially when the messages are conveyed through electronic devices such as laptops, phones, and visual presentations that involve the use of text or words. 
  • There is visual communication that involves the display of information, where the message is understood or expressed with the help of visual aids. For example, topography, photography, signs, symbols, maps, colors, posters, banners, and designs that help the viewer understand the message visually. 
We already know from this post that I am not the best at communication to begin with because of my slightly Asperger's brain. Then add on trying to read people's thoughts, emotions, and feelings on a flat, black and white screen with a flashing cursor, and no tone of voice?? Impossible for me most of the time to understand what people are saying. Quite frankly I have no idea how any relationships (friendly, familial, or intimate) are still held together because of the lack of tone of voice and body language in a Facebook status.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Blogging, Google +, and many other social media/networking pages I swear were invented to cause you to have fights with your friends because you read your friend's status and they're complaining, and you're like well I do that sometimes, oh crap she/he is talking about me. I guess we really aren't friends anymore. Then you send a PM to them or email or whatever and start telling them off and they can't get a word in edgewise to tell you what they posted has nothing to do with them. 

The first rule of social media/text communication where you don't have a ton of voice or the whole story is to private message the person and make sure that you are cool with that person or if they want to "vent" about anything because you should not ruin relationships over a Facebook status for goodness sake. Make sure you know the whole story, don't judge so quickly. Don't get defensive and ready to fight until you understand where your friend is coming from.

 Rule # 2 of communication is to not spend your precious, little amount (if you're a spoonie) of energy backing yourself up. Odds are they will hate you and misunderstand you and judge you no matter what damage control comes out of your mouth. If they are going to misunderstand you and they make that very clear, then don't waste your energy, just walk away and don't look back. The conflict is probably doing more damage to you internally than them anyway. I dealt with a situation of harassment and threatening emails being sent repeatedly by someone who saw a facebook status I posted, didn't stop to get the whole story, took offense, and started defaming my character and integrity, harassing me, and threatening me. I just blocked her from all avenues because ain't nobody got time for dat! Seriously. I don't. It's not worth my energy.

Rule #3 For some reason, when I tell people things, it doesn't always get interpreted the same way that I said it. Just because you don't misinterpreted what I said, does not mean that I am wrong, or unethical, or unprofessional, or don't know what I'm talking about. It just means you weren't listening to what I was actually saying. Understanding is one of the hardest parts of communication to 'get'. Which brings us to rule #4 perfectly.

Rule #4 As a society we are taught that we are supposed to act interested in people's conversations. And we are expected to have the perfect reply to fit straight into the conversation that will flow and make the person feel validated. The stupidest part of that though is that while we are coming up with our "perfect reply" we aren't listening to the conversation at all and could be missing out on ample information that we could reply to more readily and appropriately, but we didn't hear it. Stupid right? Like why are you "listening" to a conversation, but not hear anything.

Rule #5 Remember that we all come into a conversation/communication setting with completely different backgrounds and we are all unique in ever way. So the way that I am saying something might be offensive to person X over there. Or person Y saying something else may offend me. We have to remember that everyone has a different perspective being brought to the table. We should embrace the diversity in our perspectives and put them to good use to solve more problems, instead of creating divides. 

Rule #6 If you did have a communication mishap with somebody...let it go. Get over it. Ask for forgiveness or give it. Life is to short to worry about things that happened yesterday, I've got enough to worry about today without worrying about yesterday too. Don't let someones craziness and intercommunication incident with you control your today, leave it back there. And if it was bad enough, block them from your life. ;)

Rule #7 And last but not least, the most important rule to keep in mind when you are communicating with people in any way, or when a intercommunication has happened and you feel a bit deflated. Always, always, always remember that you are who you are, and who you are is beautiful and amazing. You are in charge of your own feelings and thoughts. Don't let other people rule you, you get to choose how awesome you are. And when you communicate with people remember that you are awesome in your head and it will come across in your personality while communicating and it will be contagious and people will fall in love with you for all sorts of different relationships.

No comments:

Post a Comment