Well, anyone who knows me knows I am a chronically ill, strong Christian young adult woman.
About 5 years ago, heck, about 2 summers ago (and all the days before that since I was about 14) I thought my sole purpose on Earth was to find Mr. Right. And I'm not talking Mr. Right like Ryan Gosling, John Mayer, Hugh Grant, etc. (Although, those are all nice choices)
I'm talking like sits on the front porch and plays guitar, takes me to Sunday school and church, opens the car door for me, knows the Bible from memory and uses it to encourage me, makes a lot of money, has a nice house in the woods, etc. Mr. Right. Like the perfect man ever (for me).
Often times we struggle with choosing a man and thinking that he should be to the same level of perfection as God because that is the most perfect relationship we know and then we break up with them because that is never gonna happen because no one is as perfect as God. Because God is the only perfect being in the universe.
These are 2 things that Christian women are constantly reminded of in the dating world to help them not get their hopes up or be crushed when they realize they do not live up to the insanely high, unattainable standards they have set out for dating because no one can be as good as God.
1) Expect a human being, not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don’t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn't have to be Mr. Hunk either.
2) Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look.
These are very important things to remember and very truthful things to remember. But the last 2 years of my life and ever more increasingly, I have had to apply the same two thoughts to a completely separate set of people that I thought I would never have to at least not this early in life.
Doctors.
Yes, I am equating finding Mr. Right, the most intimate relationship a girl can have, her husband, to doctors. Because what is a chronically ill gal supposed to do to illustrate a situation? Ya know why? Because I spend way more time with doctors of all kinds than I ever will with one human being. And because it's an intimate relationship. And because I just want someone to listen to me. And doesn't everyone who has a chronic illness secretly long for their very own personal Dr. House?
You search and search and search for a new specialist and read all their publications, read reviews from their other patients, look at the school they went to, and think they are just gonna be perfect for you. You meet them the first time and you even like them then. You put all your hope that your 10 year long journey of sickness and searching for answers is going to end at the next appointment. You get so hopeful, you just know the end is in sight. You know you have found Dr. Perferct. And you end up all like this:
1) Expect a human being, not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the doctor a break. You already know that you are a frustrating case. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond the appearance of apathy, maybe the doctor is trying his hardest and just hasn't come up with the suggestion yet. Give leeway for forgiveness. Use the nurses to your advantage :)
2) Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what treatments will work for you and why. You may meet some awesome people, and you may meet some not so nice people. You may get hurt and let down. Keep at it. There are good doctors out there. You simply need to know where to look.
See, look, you didn't think I could apply the thoughts behind finding a Godly husband to finding a perfect doctor. But it's true. If we are going to spend this much time with someone it has to be a good relationship. It takes time, it takes effort. I still don't have a Dr. Perfect...but I'm looking (and I'm really close in several areas)...and I hope he looks a lot like Dr. House, because he ain't bad looking either ;)
All I have to say is it has been a LONG, FRUSTRATING week and I'm ready to go to sleep, in my own bed, and dream about better days where there is no sickness and Mr. Right is on my mind again instead of Dr. Perfect.
About 5 years ago, heck, about 2 summers ago (and all the days before that since I was about 14) I thought my sole purpose on Earth was to find Mr. Right. And I'm not talking Mr. Right like Ryan Gosling, John Mayer, Hugh Grant, etc. (Although, those are all nice choices)
I'm talking like sits on the front porch and plays guitar, takes me to Sunday school and church, opens the car door for me, knows the Bible from memory and uses it to encourage me, makes a lot of money, has a nice house in the woods, etc. Mr. Right. Like the perfect man ever (for me).
Often times we struggle with choosing a man and thinking that he should be to the same level of perfection as God because that is the most perfect relationship we know and then we break up with them because that is never gonna happen because no one is as perfect as God. Because God is the only perfect being in the universe.
These are 2 things that Christian women are constantly reminded of in the dating world to help them not get their hopes up or be crushed when they realize they do not live up to the insanely high, unattainable standards they have set out for dating because no one can be as good as God.
1) Expect a human being, not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don’t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn't have to be Mr. Hunk either.
2) Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look.
These are very important things to remember and very truthful things to remember. But the last 2 years of my life and ever more increasingly, I have had to apply the same two thoughts to a completely separate set of people that I thought I would never have to at least not this early in life.
Doctors.
Yes, I am equating finding Mr. Right, the most intimate relationship a girl can have, her husband, to doctors. Because what is a chronically ill gal supposed to do to illustrate a situation? Ya know why? Because I spend way more time with doctors of all kinds than I ever will with one human being. And because it's an intimate relationship. And because I just want someone to listen to me. And doesn't everyone who has a chronic illness secretly long for their very own personal Dr. House?
You search and search and search for a new specialist and read all their publications, read reviews from their other patients, look at the school they went to, and think they are just gonna be perfect for you. You meet them the first time and you even like them then. You put all your hope that your 10 year long journey of sickness and searching for answers is going to end at the next appointment. You get so hopeful, you just know the end is in sight. You know you have found Dr. Perferct. And you end up all like this:
(please notice the pun)
Then you meet them a second time (or third, fourth, fifth, etc) and find out that they are out of ideas and frustrated and don't want to help you anymore. They've never heard of dysautonomia. They don't know how to read your lab results. They don't understand how sensitive you are to different meds and coming off of them. They don't understand that your body is different than a "normal person's" body because everything in your body that's automatic doesn't work. They string you along and act like they are helping you and they care about you so you'll keep coming back for more and changing your meds and making you feel like they are helping you out, but then you realize they really have no idea what they are doing. Then they have no choice when you are really, really sick but to save your life, because they have been screwing up for so long in the first place that you completely shut down every where and it isn't good. Then you figure out that what you've ended up with is this:
This is when it comes in handy to remind yourself that even doctors get frustrated in this process and remind yourself of the 2 thoughts above but in a little different wording.
2) Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what treatments will work for you and why. You may meet some awesome people, and you may meet some not so nice people. You may get hurt and let down. Keep at it. There are good doctors out there. You simply need to know where to look.
See, look, you didn't think I could apply the thoughts behind finding a Godly husband to finding a perfect doctor. But it's true. If we are going to spend this much time with someone it has to be a good relationship. It takes time, it takes effort. I still don't have a Dr. Perfect...but I'm looking (and I'm really close in several areas)...and I hope he looks a lot like Dr. House, because he ain't bad looking either ;)
All I have to say is it has been a LONG, FRUSTRATING week and I'm ready to go to sleep, in my own bed, and dream about better days where there is no sickness and Mr. Right is on my mind again instead of Dr. Perfect.
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