Thursday, October 20, 2011

have fun at college

Today was a long, long day. It started out as a great feeling day. I slept all the way through the night for the first time in months last 8.5 straight hours of sleep...unheard of. Then I went and took some stuff to Catawba and got some coffee. Then came home and Amber met me here and we cleaned.

Now my entire bedroom is empty and the floor is done in there, my bathroom is like spotless compared to what it was and there is only stuff I need in there until we leave on Saturday and my fridge/freezer got cleaned out. We had some fun while we did it too. It is getting to real now. I am not enjoying much of my time anymore, I am trying to stay positive but it isn't really working. I just am gonna miss this place so much and the people I have become friends with. It really is amazing that I moved here 7 years ago not knowing a single person and have managed to find so many people that genuinely love and support me. Anyways...

After cleaning, I went back to Catawba to deliver some more of my teaching stuff, talk to some professors, and catch up with mommy #2, Rose Ann, the music department secretary that I did workstudy for. I will miss her a lot too. But we got to talk for about 2 hours and it was good and I will see her when I come back to visit too. Then I came home delivered something else to someone else that I sold. Then I got ready for my dinner for my Sunday school class/random people.

It was really wonderful. There were so many people that came up and I got to see some people for the last time. Angela and Russ and the handbells got me a thing with tons of gluten free cookies in it for the car ride home. Angela said she made sure there was lots of chocolate in it, a girl after my own heart. :) I got some other pretty awesome gifts too, but I'm not going to call any of them out on here...but they know :) I managed not to cry much and have some fun though it was hard. And I ate my entire salad...and if you've ever seen a salad from Palm's you know that is quite a feat, but not for me, eater extraordinaire. Some of my church friends are joking that this is almost like they are sending me off to college because right now the plan is to go home, get better, go to school, come back and get a job. So lots of people are like it's just like you're going to yeah that is how we are trying to look at it. So in one of my cards from dinner tonight, this person wrote, "You are a dear sister in Christ and I am so excited for the plans that God has for you next! So 'have fun at college' and hurry home!" When I read her card and saw her gift (thank you, thank you, thank you) that is when I lost it. But it was a good cry. It was a cry where I realized how much I am loved and supported and cared for her. And made me realize that even though I won't be here in person I know that people will be praying for me and hoping that I can come 'home' soon. I know that I am going home technically to be with my family. But I've never lived where I'm moving. I don't know people there but my family. It's cold and I don't like cold. And I am sure I will make it homey for the time I am there, and I'm sure I'll have enjoyable times. But everyone who knows me knows that this town is my home. I just hope I get to come back like the plan is now.

Tomorrow is my last full day in my 'home' and the day after that I am going 'home''s gonna be a long, emotional next couple of days, but it is all part of the story. All part of God doing what He needs to do to make this a beautiful story and to make me a beautiful, healthy person. God will be there, and I will cry, but it's ok, hey even Jesus wept :) Tomorrow will be cleaning running errands, etc and hanging out with some friends. Then Saturday we are packing up and moving. I am definitely sad, but I just have to keep reminding myself it is God's plan...or is at least appearing that way so I guess I should just get ready for the ride...and don't stop believing...'

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