Monday, October 17, 2011


Yesterday, I thought when I went to church I would cry the entire time because it was the last time I was going to get to go for a while. But I didn't, I held it together, and I worshiped God. It was a good church service, there was a good vibe. We sang "Blessed be the name of the Lord" and the preacher started us clapping, which never happens at my church. But it did yesterday, because God knew I needed to praise God in a more exuberant way and knew that I wouldn't do it on my own. Yesterday at church was also good because the Sunday school lesson and the sermon were both on trusting God to provide for your every need even when you have nothing but only if you give. I know this know more than ever. And it seems to be working out for me. I definitely don't have money to be giving right now but I have stuff to give and I have time to give and every time I do I get money in return. And it has been amazing to see how God has provided for every need as I've needed it. Not a second before and not a second after. My God is an on time God.

Speaking of on time God and providing for every need. As of last week we weren't sure that my insurance was going to get approved. If I don't have continuous health insurance coverage I have pre-existing conditions and then my insurance sky rockets like close to or over 1000 dollars a month. I was also really worried because I had to get my treatment on Friday (which I've mentioned is around 5000 dollars per time) and I technically didn't have health insurance for it since the paperwork hadn't gone through yet. But I got my new insurance cards today with an effective date of 10/13/11, the day before my treatment...yeah...God is on time...always.

I also got rid of (sold) my futon today and have a very possible buyer for my washer and dryer :) They are both giving me less than what I was asking but they needed them and I needed them gone. So that is what happens. They are happy and I am sort of happy.

Today or yesterday really I started the process of saying "goodbye". I went to lunch with someone who has been my friend and involved in like a trillion clubs with me and then went to church with me since my freshman year of college. She is really the only person I still keep up with college except through reading facebook status updates. Like really keep up with. Then tonight I went to dinner with a large portion of my church family. My friends that I usually go out to lunch with every Sunday, my deacon, my friend Angela who I worked with at Catawba and who invited me to First Baptist (thank you, who knew how much the church would mean to me later), and my friend Mary Ann who I helped with Capernaum YoungLife, the challenge team for upward basketball, and she helped me with a lot too when I went through my many hard times. Most of these people I will see on Wednesday night some of them I won't but all of them I dearly love with all of my heart. Many of them have helped shape me into who I am today, and they all have supported me financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically at one point or another. These are very special people and I really hope we stay in touch while I'm gone and they are all still here when I come back.

Now after writing all this I am crying for the first time today, but not the last time this week I guarantee it. I've already decided this week will be one of the most emotionally and mentally exhausting weeks I've ever had. I barely have any free time because of all the people that are trying to see me or that I want to see before I leave.

I just have to remember two things for now:
1) I will be back, I will (finance and health permitting) in fact be back for a week in only a month and a half.
2) I saw this Bible verse today and it seems very applicable and pertinent..."As for God, His way is perfect" Psalm 18:30 This doesn't mean half way done or His timing is almost right. PERFECT. Everything that is happening to me right now, in this moment is PERFECT because God ordained it, therefore it has to be. And that, my friends, is truth that I can rest in tonight and gives me the strength to say goodbye to more very special people tomorrow with.

1 comment:

  1. you are amazing! each time i read one of your blogs i cry, am i crazy no! GOD is amazing