Saturday, October 1, 2011


Today, started out as an excellent day. The nurse came in and woke me up and told me to order my every day for the past 10 or 11 days...i immediately said, as soon as you tell me what my potassium level is. She pauses looks at the computer screen and says 3.7!!! I literally almost jumped out of the bed and hugged her. 3.6 was the go home number and I was at 3.7, I was finally going to get out of the hospital.

So I packed up all the wonderful presents and goodies that people sent me and waited on my friend to come and get me. I went home and took a bubble bath and then i layed on my futon and waited on my other friend to bring me dinner and groceries.

Today was a good was a day where I was finally out of the hospital and today was the day where I was going to start over...

However, today is the day where I have to start over. Today is the day that as I lay here in my futon resting and recuperating, I look around my apartment at all my stuff that I will be getting rid of in the next two weeks. Everything that I will be getting rid of and leaving behind to move to Indiana with my family to get better, to heal. Today is the day that I start crying uncontrollably because I can't fathom leaving the home that I have known for the past 8 years. The place where I first lived independently, found out who I was, and lost who I was all in the same place. Today is the day where I start over and find out who I am again.

I literally am sitting in my living room staring at my stuff, wondering who will get it all. Should I give it away to the so many needy, should I try to gouge the prices out of the water because let's face it I really need the money or what should I do with it. How am I getting rid of it, and why do I have to get rid of everything I own, everything that makes me who I am and start over. Well there is no space, it costs money to store things. And as many of my friends and strong Christian role models have reminded me through constant big things in there lives. It is just stuff. I am getting rid of my stuff, I will get new stuff, and I will be provided for. God provides, that is what He does. God will take care of me. God will not forsake me or leave me. That doesn't mean that I won't miss my stuff, or my life, or cry like mad when I pull out of this town in the next couple of weeks and say see you soon to everything I know.

Right now I am overwhelmed. However, as always there is a Bible story that directly applies. So here you go: Luke 18:24-30 "Seeing his reaction, Jesus said, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who have it all to enter God's kingdom? I'd say it's easier to thread a camel through a needle's eye than get a rich person into God's kingdom." Then who has any chance at all?" the others asked. "No chance at all, Jesus said, "if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." Peter tried to regain some initiative: "We left everything we owned and followed you, didn't we?" "Yes, said Jesus, "and you won't regret it. No one who has sacrificed home, spouse, brothers and sisters, parents, children-whatever- will lose out. It will all come back multiplied many times over in your lifetime. And then the bonus of eternal life."

So I am not losing anything, I am gaining everything. Stuff is stuff, stuff can be replaced. My life and my health and following God's will for my life is the most important thing right now. And I can't wait for him to multiply in my life like crazy. Even though I am overwhelmed...

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